Our upcoming screenings in December are co-sponsored by the Chicago Public Library’s Diversability Advocacy Committee. We have been working with them since 2021 and are incredibly grateful for their support.
The library’s Diversability Advocacy Committee works tirelessly all year round now to host programs and events that highlight the challenges and accomplishments of people living with disabilities. This includes less visible disabilities such as mental illness.
I have to admit, when the committee first reached out to me as an artist with bipolar disorder, I hadn’t really thought of myself as someone with a disability. The thought was not unwelcome, though. Kind of like how some people describe getting a diagnosis as a relief, it actually gave me some power to think of myself as overcoming barriers despite having a disability. I worked full-time, I made art, I supported myself and I eventually started a film festival. I’m well aware that my privilege, including a support system as well as a good job and health insurance, helped make this possible.
I later learned that depression is one of the leading causes of disability payments. I think it’s sometimes difficult for people to understand this, because you can’t really see it and it’s not tangible. Why can’t that person just snap out of it, act differently, and do the thing that they need to get better?
Believe me, the invisibility of this illness can be just as frustrating for the person experiencing the mental illness disability themselves. From my experience and others I’ve heard, that person does not want to be confined to bed, does not want to feel too exhausted to cook, clean, or shower, or too scared to answer the phone or go outside to the point where physical symptoms like a racing heart or shallow breathing kicks in. Sometimes I hated that I appeared lazy when I really felt mentally and physically incapable of doing anything, and I myself hated that I couldn’t pinpoint a tangible thing that was wrong, or find the right treatment for it. The fact that you can’t see or clarify it can actually be one of the most challenging things about it.
I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I, myself, not too long ago never fully considered the disabilities that are harder to see.
